When walking with my daughter the other day, we came across a beautiful little robin’s egg on the ground. They are such a pretty color, I’m surprised each time I see one. There was no tree above nor any reasonable place for a nest nearby, so I’m not sure how it got there. We used a stick to gently turn it over, and the underside was cracked – and I could tell that, luckily, there was not the beginning of a baby bird in there.
So, here come the questions from my six-year-old:
“How did it get here?”
“Why is it cracked?”
“Will the baby bird be ok?”
“What do you mean, it might not be a baby bird yet?” “How come some don’t turn into babies?”
“How do baby birds get in eggs?”
and you see where this is going …. 🐦& 🐝
Oh, boy ….
How do you find that balance between being honest and explaining basic human biology, while keeping it age-appropriate? The balance between not making a big deal of the education, yet hoping they also understand it a big deal, and is something to be saved for later. Like, MUCH later. Like, when they’re 30. 😂
My husband and I went to a Christian-based ‘Birds and the Bees’ talk for parents a few months ago, and since then, we’ve thought a lot about how we want to broach the topic of s.e.x. with our children.
Something that really stood out to me from the presentation was introducing it as a natural part of life, even from a young age. So, anytime the opportunity rises to casually introduce a concept, take it.
You could explain that “by God’s design, each living thing contains what it needs to create a copy of itself – basically, a seed. And, all living things start as a seed, and need other specific things to grow.” For example, take an apple. The seed is the exact copy, and if you combine that seed with the other required components (soil, water, sun), it will grow into a new apple tree that will produce more apples, with seeds, and so on. A seed all alone without those other things won’t become a tree. Doesn’t that seem a lot more comfortable to explain?! Lol. And then wait for the day when they ask about mommy’s seed and daddy’s seed. ☺
I do really like this idea though – Keeping the language and concept simple while honestly answering their questions; showing that reproduction is a natural part of life; and opening the door to dialogue. And when they’re little, that’s all they need. You can be open and honest, without sharing everything right away!
As uncomfortable as some conversations may be, it’s important that our children know they can come to us and we will be honest. I actually think some of our discomfort comes from us looking at it from an adult perspective, rather than a child’s perspective. They haven’t attached sexuality or emotion to the thought of reproduction yet. And, in all reality, this isn’t about us as parents. It’s about equipping our children with age-appropriate, medically correct, and respectful terminology and understanding. And of course, as our children get older, the conversations can become more complex.
In this day and age where sexual language, images, and concepts are all around, you have the responsibility to educate your child in the way that feels right for your family. An analogy used in the workshop was thinking of your child’s sexual curiosity as a sponge. If you gradually fill it with age-appropriate answers, then when they get another message somewhere else, the info doesn’t absorb – it just rolls right off. So, take the opportunities when they arise and discuss how life evolves. If we are able to have these types of factual conversations now, about birds, apples, or even body parts, I’ve got to believe it will be a less-uncomfortable, natural progression to answer their more adult questions when the time comes. 🤓
What do you think? How have you addressed this topic in your family with young children?
Love this perspective! Great advice!